“What if femininity has nothing to do with being a woman” asks Michelle Miller, who offers thoughts about gender in relation to results and experience orientation. She believes that women have lost their femininity because of their drive to achieve and succeed. Indirectly, she might as well say that women, who are feminine and have no interest in masculinity, are heading for failure because they are trapped in the experience. The masculine woman, however, will always attain the result, because she is detached from the experience.
Whilst I agree that the experience of an activity is as imperative as the results, and is something I actively think about when I train, perform and create, I don’t believe that Miller was able to offer any true clarification as to how she goes through an experience without the results in mind, particularly when she announced that the only reason she wrote her first book was because she let her masculinity unleash her ambition. She then continued to promote the results (or masculinity) of her work as opposed to discussing her experience of restoring femininity through writing.
Let’s look at this in terms of pole dance. Many women attend pole dancing classes to find their femininity, but if masculinity represents a results driven attitude, then I can certainly offer that a lot of women in pole dance are “masculine”. Well, once they complete the beginner’s course that is. Pole dance starts with the experience, the enjoyment of spinning around and learning something new. But as the level of skill required escalates, the “femininity” of the activity withers away and we are left with women who are only interested in nailing a trick to take a photo for Instagram, all whilst forgetting about the process it takes to reach that particular “trick”. Of course, I don’t speak for everyone, but this is a clear observation amongst many pole dance instructors.
Overall, in order to engage with and enjoy the “experience”, the “femininity” of an activity, you have to forget about the outcome for a few minutes. I know this is easier said than done, trust me. Pretty much everything I do has an intended result. If gender was bound to sex, then I would be considered as living as a man.
On another note, here is Sonata Erotica, composed by Erwin Schulhoff and performed by Loes Luca. I found this piece whilst doing research for my Erotic Edition Choreography Cards. It is very entertaining and would be comical to use as a supporting track for a pole dance. I‘d advise you not to press play in public, without headphones.
I’ll be back next week with more to share, but in the meantime, you can see my daily updates by following me on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook